Keep in mind that I just found these after they'd been sitting here for 3 years. More like a rough draft of what I had planned to implement before all the database troubles I encountered (server-side) and commencement of my legal studies. Trust me, there really is a working database and all sorts of neato stuff (like allowing other entries, auto-updating, and searching), but this is all I have time to finish at the moment. Like anyone but me cares.
[formatting taken straight from Access. Egads does it hash up the code.]
| Movie | Rating | Blurb |
| Alien |
10 |
Like someone waiting for you in a dark alley, but you don't know where. |
|
| Aliens |
10 |
One of the best action movies of all time. Ending is rather disappointing, though. |
|
| Babe |
10 |
Hippie, pot-smoking vegetarians make a movie and it is a blast. La la la! |
|
| Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer |
10 |
Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple and one hell of a plot. |
|
| Braveheart |
10 |
FREEDOM!! |
|
| Dead Man Walking |
10 |
Sean Penn makes the 5, even if the ending smacks of religious revisionism. |
|
| Ferris Bueller's Day Off |
10 |
A fantastic movie from top to bottom. |
|
| Fish Called Wanda |
10 |
Definitely one of the best comedies of all time. It's K-k-k-ken c-c-coming to k-k-kill me! |
|
| Hamlet (Branagh) |
10 |
Fantastic. Kate Winslet is a good Ophelia and Branagh actually comes close to Olivier. |
|
| Jaws |
10 |
It's too bad sharks are still killed indiscriminately because of this movie. Still, it's hard to keep it from your mind when you are swimming in open water. |
|
| Kicking and Screaming |
10 |
Strictly for the college art-house crowd. |
|
| Princess Bride |
10 |
Everything is done well. Cary Elwes is beautiful. |
|
| Pulp Fiction |
10 |
I actually saw it BEFORE everyone was saying "Royale with Cheese". |
|
| Raising Arizona |
10 |
You either love it or hate it. I love it. |
|
| Schindler's List |
10 |
Spielberg proves that he can show nudity on screen and not blush. Great story, presented well. Black and white is a stroke of genius. |
|
| Se7en |
10 |
A little too dark (lighting-wise), but great performances and great story. |
|
| Shall We Dance |
10 |
Wonderfully funny movie. Do NOT compare it to Ballroom Dancing. |
|
| Shawshank Redemption |
10 |
The best adaptation of a Stephen King story. |
|
| Sign 'o the Times |
10 |
Best concert movie, ever. |
|
| Star Wars |
10 |
The classic. I had the complete dialogue memorized at one point. |
|
| Terminator |
10 |
One of the best B movies ever made |
|
| To Kill a Mockingbird |
10 |
It actually does Harper Lee's story justice. |
|
| Toy Story |
10 |
Great story and well done, regardless of the media used. |
|
| Trainspotting |
10 |
Hilarious, and gets better on every viewing. |
|
| What's Love Got To Do With It? |
10 |
Angela Bassett and Lawrence Fishbourne are great. |
|
| Better Off Dead |
9 |
John Cusack and a hell of a funny movie. |
|
| Bringing Up Baby |
9 |
Cary Grant and Hepburn. I ruptured my spleen, I laughed so hard. |
|
| Conan the Barbarian |
9 |
Ah-nolds first, and arguably best, starring role. |
|
| Fried Green Tomatoes |
9 |
I love this movie. For some reason, the lesbianism in the book was taken out for the movie. |
|
| Gandhi |
9 |
Nice portrayal of the great man. I see now why it won best movie. |
|
| Goodfellas |
9 |
Scorsese is brilliant, plust it has DeNiro and Pesci in his least-annoying role. |
|
| North by Northwest |
9 |
Hitchcock. Grant. It is a thing of beauty. |
|
| Terminator 2: Judgement Day |
9 |
Much better technically than Terminator. The ending a definite let down |
|
| Taxi Driver |
9 |
Wow. Foster, Deniro, Keitel, Brooks, and Scorsese. If it wasn't for Shepard, this would be perfect. |
|
| Chase, The |
9 |
Spielberg's first (and best until Schindler) |
|
| To Catch a Thief |
9 |
Cary Grant and Grace Kelly. Fabulous. |
|
| What's Eating Gilbert Grape |
9 |
DiCaprio's debut and he is wonderful, as is Johnny Depp |
|
| Ace Ventura Pet Detective |
8 |
A brilliant comedy |
|
| Bean |
8 |
Rowan Atkinson is a genius. OMG, was this funny. |
|
| Beverly Hills Cop |
8 |
Eddie Murphy in his prime was a treat. |
|
| Casino |
8 |
DeNiro, Stone, and Scorsese. Right on. |
|
| City of Lost Children |
8 |
Stunning visuals, incomprehensible storyline. Naturally, it is French. |
|
| Dangerous Liasons |
8 |
Malkovich = sexy?!? Great actor… but sexy? |
|
| Dead Calm |
6 |
Great suspense. Only role I've ever liked Nicole Kidman in (well, maybe that BMX Bandits too). |
|
| Don Juan de Marco |
8 |
Depp is fantastic. The movie actually made me feel romantic. |
|
| Driving Miss Daisy |
8 |
Makes servility and racism seem benign. Still a nice movie. |
|
| E.T. |
8 |
Reese's Pieces are still in business because of this movie. |
|
| Fast Times at Ridgemont High |
8 |
Spicoli makes the movie. |
|
| Gallipoli |
8 |
Can't outrun a bullet. Brits suck. That about sums it up. |
|
| Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade |
8 |
Redemption of the series |
|
| In & Out |
8 |
Funny. Emma Thompson. |
|
| Jackie Brown |
8 |
She's a badass |
|
| On Golden Pond |
8 |
I can't remember why I liked it so much. I cried when it lost best picture to Gandhi. |
|
| Purple Rain |
8 |
What started the craze. Horrible acting and story, but incredible music. |
|
| Red Sorghum |
8 |
Gong Li's first film released internationally is also her best |
|
| Say Anything |
8 |
Better in memory than on re-viewing. John Cusack's breakthrough. |
|
| Silverado |
8 |
All-star cast (save Costner) and a good story. |
|
| Color Purple, The |
8 |
Alice Walker's finest, and even has one simpathetic male character. Oprah does a wonderful job. |
|
| Cure, The |
8 |
Brad Renfro might actually have some talent. |
|
| Professional, The |
8 |
Except for Gary Oldman, it is great |
|
| Titanic |
2 |
DiCaprio and Winslet are great. Direction sucks. Dialogue sucks. Plot sucks. Typical Cameron, really. Fairly exciting, but empty as Dubya's head. |
|
| Urban Cowboy |
8 |
One of Travolta's best roles. |
|
| WS's Romeo and Juliet |
8 |
Great visuals. I am a sucker for DiCaprio and Danes. |
|
| 12 Monkeys |
7 |
Great story, decent acting, and nice use of time. |
|
| Basic Instinct |
7 |
I do not care about the missing panties, why would Sharon Stone shack up with the Incredible Melting Man who is 20 years older than she? That's the real mystery. |
|
| Boyz in the Hood |
5 |
Singleton's only good movie, but it has aged very poorly. |
|
| Edward Scissorhands |
7 |
My favorite Tim Burton movie. Enough of the dark and similar-looking creepies already. |
|
| Farewell my Concubine |
7 |
Slow, but interesting. Nice visuals. |
|
| Friday the 13th (1) |
7 |
Best of the series. Kevin Bacon gets an arrow through the throat. *Note: I like Kevin Bacon, this is not what made the movie for me. |
|
| From Dusk 'til Dawn |
7 |
Underrated schlock-fest. I loved it. |
|
| Grosse Pointe Blank |
7 |
John & Joan Cusack save it from a 6 or worse. |
|
| Halloween (1) |
7 |
Jamie Lee Curtis in her best Scream Queen role. Oh, and it is scary |
|
| Hamlet (Gibson) |
7 |
Not bad. Not good either, but not bad. That incest thing is ridiculous though. |
|
| Legend |
7 |
Horrible story and poor acting, but it sure looks beautiful. I'm a sucker for early Scott. |
|
| Mr. Mom |
7 |
Keaton at his finest. |
|
| Platoon |
7 |
My favorite Stone movie. I'm not so convinced about the drug scene, or the nostalgia for it. The combat scenes are particularly powerful. Audio track has not aged well. |
|
| Party Girl |
7 |
The movie that made Parker Posey a art-house name |
|
| Philadelphia |
7 |
Would be higher except for the painfully obvious Oscar baiting |
|
| Predator |
7 |
Great B-movie |
|
| Return of the Jedi |
7 |
Too Mattel for my tastes |
|
| She's so Lovely |
7 |
She doesn't love you, she doesn't love me. She's de-lovely. |
|
| Sleepless in Seattle |
7 |
What An Affair... should have been in the first place |
|
| Crying Game, The |
7 |
The secret that isn't. Jaye Davison is quite pretty. |
|
| Swingers |
7 |
Cool but tries too hard. |
|
| 48 hours |
6 |
Murphy's heyday. Even Nolte is somewhat appealing. |
|
| Absentminded Professor |
6 |
Funny, but can't equal the original. |
|
| Alien Resurrection |
6 |
Tries to be Scott and Cameron, but achieves neither. |
|
| Apollo 13 |
6 |
Opie tries mediocrity in space |
|
| Breakfast Club |
6 |
A Brat Pack flick. Before they all died, became junkies, or were filmed having sex with a teenager. |
|
| Creepshow I |
6 |
At least three good stories. The crate is the best. |
|
| il Postino |
6 |
I'm going to have to break from the art house crowd; I just didn't find it all that compelling. |
|
| Inner Space |
6 |
Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan do have chemistry |
|
| Jumanji |
6 |
Fun, but definitely not for kids due to the violence |
|
| Mad Max |
6 |
Mel is beautiful |
|
| Rattle & Hum |
6 |
U2: As Pretentious as they wanna be |
|
| Road Warrior |
6 |
Better than Mad Max, but without the strange appeal |
|
| Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan |
6 |
Feel the rich Corinthian leather Kirk |
|
| Rock, The |
6 |
Connery is surprising spry for a septuagenarian |
|
| Them |
6 |
Rowdy Roddy Piper whups ass |
|
| Topper |
6 |
Not as funny as had been reputed. |
|
| Total Recall |
6 |
It's all a Schizoid embolism! |
|
| Back to the Future |
5 |
Simple fun |
|
| Back to the Future 2 |
5 |
See: Back to the Future 2 |
|
| Close Encounters of the Third Kind |
5 |
Too boring to earn anything higher |
|
| Commando |
5 |
Back when Ah-nolds one-liners were fresth, it was still only an OK movie. |
|
| Jurassic Park |
5 |
Ditch the kids, you'd have an 8. |
|
| Kingpin |
5 |
Surprisingly, I liked it. Much better than Dumb and Dumber |
|
| Lethal Weapon 2 |
5 |
Pesci almost ruins the series, but it has the best plot of all 3. |
|
| Lost World |
5 |
Ditch the kid and the racism (Godzira!) and you'd have a 6. |
|
| Scream |
5 |
OK for what it is… which is neither scary nor all that interesting. |
|
| Star Trek 4: … (time travel) |
5 |
Probably my favorite of the series. Scotty tries to be mistaken for the whales they are saving. |
|
| Client, The |
5 |
Brad Renfro was in a groove there for a year. |
|
| Alien Nation |
4 |
TV series was better. What a horrid thought. |
|
| Batman |
4 |
Great soundtrack and Jack Nicholson. Tim Burton and Keaton bring it down. |
|
| Captain Ron |
4 |
Strangely appealing |
|
| Cocoon |
4 |
Old people. Steve Gutenberg. 'Nuff said. |
|
| Gung Ho |
4 |
Keaton not at his finest |
|
| Interview with the Vampire |
4 |
Boring. I never like Anne Rice anyway. |
|
| La Bamba |
4 |
I'm sorry, but Richie Valens just wasn't that interesting, then again I'm sure I wasn't the target demo. In any event, should have been a TV movie. |
|
| Leaving Las Vegas |
4 |
Why couldn't he just shoot himself and save us two hours of misery? |
|
| Lion King |
4 |
The formula actually works better without humans. Still have the stupid love song in the middle. |
|
| Multiplicity |
4 |
Andie McDowell and Michael Keaton. Not a recipe for success. |
|
| Natural Born Killers |
4 |
Incoherent and boring. Even Robert Downey, Jr. couldn't save it |
|
| Out of Africa |
4 |
English Patient without the looks, story, or pacing. |
|
| Phenomenon |
4 |
It's a brain tumor. Give up the scientology crap. |
|
| Quigley Down Under |
4 |
Selleck is not as annoying as usual. I still love Magnum, PI, though. |
|
| Remains of the Day |
4 |
The butler didn't do it. |
|
| Risky Business |
4 |
Slightly better than All the Right Moves, but that's not saying much. |
|
| Secret of My Success |
4 |
Michael J. Fox. Dull, but better than Working Woman (which is the same movie, only with a female protagonist). |
|
| Singles |
4 |
Overrated. Even the soundtrack can't save this one. |
|
| Speed |
4 |
News Flash! Keanu can't act. Luckily for him, he did not have to with this brain-dead script. Saved by Bullock. |
|
| Stargate |
4 |
I don't see what all the fuss is about. The Showtime series is better. |
|
| Teen Wolf |
4 |
Not Michael J. Fox's best moment |
|
| Bishop's Wife, The |
4 |
Elitist, blue-blooded christians do not make for an ideal movie than mine. Grant makes this better than Preacher's Wife. |
|
| Pillow Book, The |
4 |
Too disturbing and incoherent to be enjoyable. The direction is way too art house-y and intrudes upon the story being presented. Ewan MacGregor sucks. |
|
| Top Gun |
4 |
I liked it when I was 13 and Reagan was in the White House. I shiver just thinking about it. |
|
| Under the Cherry Moon |
4 |
Kristin Scott Thomas can't save Prince from himself. |
|
| Rocky Horror Picture Show |
8 |
Camp value only goes so far. Overrated, even in a theatre. But for the sheer amount of goodwill and understanding it has created, it's an 8. |
|
| 5th Element |
3 |
Visually interesting, yet incomprehensible |
|
| All the Right Moves |
3 |
Cruise's breakout role. Like I care. |
|
| Beauty and the Beast |
3 |
Least sappy of recent flicks. If they got rid of that stupid love song in the middle of the movie from the formula, I might give it a 3. |
|
| Dirty Dancing |
3 |
Does not age well. I do like the old Jennifer Grey better than the new, though. |
|
| Lethal Weapon 3 |
3 |
Rene Russo cannot overcome the Pesci factor |
|
| Red Sonja |
3 |
Brigitte Nielsen? Puh-leese. |
|
| Saturday Night Fever |
3 |
Outside of the bitchin soundtrack, all this movie offers is misogyny and idiocy |
|
| Scream 2 |
3 |
A parody can only be taken so far. Why is the "strong woman" (Neve) always rescued by a man? |
|
| Sixteen Candles |
3 |
How did Molly Ringwald ever get a job? Ever? |
|
| Star Trek 1 |
3 |
Booooring! |
|
| Crow, The |
3 |
Only gets a two on the sympathy vote for Brandon Lee |
|
| Working Girl |
3 |
Secret of My Success with a female protagonist who is, unfortunately, Melanie Griffith. |
|
| Backdraft |
3 |
Not as bad as Turk 182... but close. |
|
| Ace Ventura Pet Detective II |
2 |
Same old thing |
|
| An Affair to Remember |
2 |
The only Cary Grant movie I dislike. The racism plays a large part as well as the idiotic behavior of the female protagonist. |
|
| Batman Forever |
2 |
Val Kilmer can't save it. Robin sucks. |
|
| Batman and Robin |
2 |
An abomination. |
|
| Beautiful Girls |
2 |
Lots of big names, lots of pretension, lots of wasted time. Tries to be one of those witty, philosophical movies but achieves nothing. |
|
| Born on the 4th of July |
2 |
Tom Cruise can act. He can. Look at him in that wheelchair. Now that's acting. |
|
| Conan the Destroyer |
2 |
Having Wilt Chamberlain in a film should be warning enough. |
|
| Dances with Wolves |
2 |
If it wasn't for Costner and Mary McDonnell, it would have been a good story. He's a decent director, though. |
|
| Event Horizon |
2 |
Gross and boring |
|
| Flubber |
2 |
Great, now flubber looks like snot. Snot with rhythm, mind you, but snot nonetheless. |
|
| Hackers |
2 |
Why do Hollywood hackers always wear mismatching clothes from the early 80's? |
|
| Hunchback (Disney) |
2 |
What? An uplifting, happy Hunchback? I fear for the future with kids who grow up on this tripe. |
|
| Independence Day |
2 |
Good from far, but far from good. Only gets worse upon repeated viewings. |
|
| Jaws 4 |
2 |
Even Voodoo can't save Jaws this time. |
|
| Kiss the Girls |
2 |
Tries to be Silence o' da Lambs but cannot. Freeman can't save the movie from Judd. |
|
| Leviathan |
2 |
A boring Alien underwater |
|
| Little Mermaid |
2 |
Saved by the "Under the Sea" song. The beginning of their current formula. |
|
| Poetic Justice |
2 |
Janet, get your no-talent butt offscreen and offstage and offear. Take Singleton with you. Well, she can chew gum convincingly. |
|
| Point of No Return |
2 |
Americans, especially shadow talents like Bridget Fonda should not try to remake classics. |
|
| Reality Bites |
2 |
Ben Stiller's pandering to GenX is grating. Ethan Hawke should be kept off the screen at all costs. |
|
| Abyss, The |
2 |
Cameron's worst |
|
| Preacher's Wife, The |
2 |
Whitney Houston becomes even more boring |
|
| Aliens3 |
1 |
An abomination. Sullies the screen. |
|
| Batman and Robin |
1 |
Incredibly, the series gets worse. Uma Thurman the only good point. |
|
| Beverly Hills Cop III |
1 |
He should have never come back to the series |
|
| Conspiracy Theory |
1 |
Horrible. Enough shots of Julia Roberts mugging for the camera to fill a football stadium. Avoid at all costs. |
|
| In & Out |
1 |
One joke wonder goes nowhere. How can you be 41 years old and not know you are gay? Joan Cusack almost salvages a 2 |
|
| Mirror has 2 Faces |
1 |
And both of them show La Streisand with a blur filter |
|
| Pocahontas |
1 |
Disney glorifies pedophelia. Great. |
|
| Crow II, The |
1 |
Just as bad as first, but no death sympathy. |
|
| Waterworld |
1 |
Costner's ego does him in, well with some help from a ridiculous plot and poor performances all around |
|
ByeBye Bush:
-1194 days
